| What problems do Hmong teenagers go through every day? (January 26, 1998) |
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I hope that what I put up in my summary didnot offend anyone. Yet it
has to one person, I'm sorry that you felt that way. I was just
explainly what teenagers wrote to me, but the piont of the summary
about the parents, was that both parents and child are to solve the
probelm. That even the child was wrong for saying that their parents
don't love them, they do, they just show it in a different way. Yet
parents asume as many things as us youth. It's not totally the
parents fault or the child. It's both, because they need to talk it
out. I'm sorry if you had misread my summary. |
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As I was going through the responses to this question, I seemed to come across so many answers and that really concerned me. I then noticed that I knew all these answers all along.Like, you teenagers I go through the same problems and I have an idea that will help you and myself. There will be a section posted on the website for Hmong parents. If you find that it will help you out, then print it off the internet and show them the section. The section will show them information on their teenagers are feeling and how they can cope and handle with the probelms. One topic that really didn't blow me away was the problems with Hmong parents. I know what you mean, "they don't understand and they are so old fashioned." But really, you have to give them a try. Hmong parents are used to the way that they were brought up, so that's why they are old fashioned. They saw an example in how their parents brought them up and now they are using it. I don't like it as much as you do either, but try to cope with it. You see, our parents are not used to the many different changes yet. They fled to the USA, but still they encounter other challenges and so do we. "Go study there is no time to play." Ever heard that phase used by your parents? The reason why they do this is that they want you to have a bright future. They want you to have a better life than what you have now. I know that for me, my parents always pressure me into studying 24/7. Then, when I do a good job in something, they always put me down. For instance, during my eighth grade year at conference time, I almost lost it with my mom at school. I was at conferences and my teacher told my mother that I was one of the best students in the whole school. Well my mother never believed it, she kept on insisting that I must had done badly. This happened for three years and it was very painful. Then during my eighth grade graduation, I was chosen to be one of the speakers for my class. On that day, after I finished my speech, my mom told me that she was proud of me. Then I noticed that she did believe that I was a good student, she was just making sure that I kept at it and didn't wander off to do bad things. You see these are the ways that our parents operate. You may not see it now, but they are just watching out for you. The reason that they are afraid that we might join a gang is that they are afraid to lose us. They want us to have a better chance at life. I know you must think: why is this girl saying this? She's just like my parents. Well I'm not, I know that our parents have to adjust to us too. That it's all right to go out and play with your friends. That just because my friends dress in baggy clothes or wear dark makeup doesn't mean that they are gang bangers. My advice is that you have to be strong and take all of this from your parents, but take action in these problems. Let them know how you feel and what they can do. Your parents and you should be able to sit down and say what you think is right and wrong. By this, you will be able to communicate better. That is just one thing to help you out, but remember it's really up to them and you to do it. Another problem that we face is that we go through an identity crisis. We are at crossroad with no way out. Is it right for us to be more American or Hmong? Is it right for us to be Hmong more then American? I have to learn English, yet I'm blamed for not learning Hmong? These questions all come up in the minds of us youth. Why do we encounter such problems about being a Hmong-American? Why? Why? Why? This isn't such an easy question to answered. Here's an example, we go to school everyday and then we come home. We haven't even touched any words of Hmong, only the ones that help us commuiate each other. then the next day we struggle in school to understand English. When we are at home, we encounter the same situation. Dealing with this identify crisis is very hard. For we are being push into being American, yet we are Hmong. Again this will take time for you. If you believe that you are Hmong and not American, then it's up to your decision. Yet I believe that I am Hmong and I am American. It will take time to figure out where you stand, but in the meanwhile, adjust to both and be strong. When peopl hear about gangs, they thinkk of these things: shooting, doing drugs, killing each other, bad people, crime, etc. Why is this so that these images suddenly go so bad when gang is mention. The truth about gangs has it's pros and cons. For me, I can't say it all bad or good. The things that some gang people for is harmful towards their community. Yet they good. I know some people who are gang bangers but they are so kind and sweet. So why did they join a gang? One major reason that people joined a gang is that they don't feel wanted at home. They don't have any support for home. They have that scence of no one cares and why should I live. Then they turn to gangs, because they know that their homies will support them and back them up. Their gang is now their family. Soon they grow attached and they do bad things. This is when gangs are majorly wrong. Soon they relise that they don't like being a gang banger, but they can't turn back. At least that is in their mind. This is mostly true about some gangs and it is also not. One thing is that if you know it is wrong to join a gang, then don't. If you have a friend or family member in a gang, do whatever it takes to get them out. Believe me, it's going to be sad if they died just because they were a gang banger. These are just some of the major problems that the Hmong teenagers are facing today. If we try to stop them together, it will fade away faster. So today do something to help out! TAKE ACTION AND YOU WILL SUCCEED!!!
Linda Lee |
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- They never ask us what we want out of live, they just assume that we will all become losers and lose our culture because we are so thoughtless and we don't follow no rules. Anonymous - If this is the point why many young teens tend to go out without parent permission and then later on joint gangs or forming a gang group because they feel not wanted at home. KMV - The solution to this problem is to agree with them (parents) first, but do what you believe is right. By doing this our parents will see that what you and I do is good and very soon they will not argue with us. If we can not show then good examples other than keep telling them that what they think and do is wrong. The bottom line is, we need to educate then in order to understand today society. If we always disagree with them then the situation will get worst. they need to be educated one step at a time. Jackie Yang - One important thing about us as teenagers is we all need to learn and know who we are and where we are from. Pao Yang - Despite where we are form, our family backgrounds, I see each and everyone Hmong youth as my sister and brother. Houa Vang - Many Hmong teenagers are caught in a cross fire between modern Americanism and Traditional Hmong culture. An American Hmong Teen - We have our different view and we try to fit into a different type of group because of our peers. Parents do not understand so they are strict when it comes for their children to go out to play. Anonymous - Just this summer my cousin, only 16 got married and I was shock. Anonymous - It is not just the ignorance of the parents but the teens as well. Anonymous - In order for there to be truthfulness and understanding in any relationship there has to be a clear communication. Anonymous - Stop fighting amongst each other so that we won't die.... Anonymous - Be proud of your race which means "Free People." Anonymous - ..no one really knows hot to deal with them, expect to try and avoid them... Thai Lee - They think that just being in a gang is "cool." Thai Vang - I think we also face an identity crisis. We're not sure weather or not to stick to our traditional ways or to turn to the American way. Bao Nhia Lee |